Well, I think if we ever organize an Iowa Underground shindig we’ll have to hire Brian to croon for us. Not a bad idea. I could see it going down like this: tailgating early Saturday morning, watch the Hawkeyes crush a Big Ten foe, and then meet at the Sheraton to listen to Brian’s Sinatra tribute. I’ll bring the tomatoes. (j/k, Brian—come on, ya gotta have a sense of humor, man.)

First time I heard that the democrats ruined Ottumwa. Here I thought it was the lack of jobs and dismal environment encouraging the youth to migrate away that was killing the place.

... and the methamphetamines. Unfortunately, those Dems in the legislature killed the burgeoning Ottumwa cold medicine market. Those same Dems would have probably banned gold mining in the 1840s too – ya just can’t trust ‘em.

First time I heard that the democrats ruined Ottumwa. Here I thought it was the lack of jobs and dismal environment encouraging the youth to migrate away that was killing the place.

I went to high school there, thought everyone was aware of the ever increasing age of the population being a killer for the place. That and the democrats.

One more thing, Brian – I don’t mean to rub salt in an open wound or offend a prospective business client, but for the sake of truth and accuracy perhaps you should update the following paragraph from your Sinatra site:

One last thing (and you will hear it often on this site): This is just a fun hobby for me. I have a real, full-time job, and I certainly don’t make a living going around from gig to gig. It’s not about money, it’s about paying my respects the best way I can to the Greatest Entertainer of the 20th Century, Francis Albert Sinatra.

Quite honestly I think it’s a big PLUS that you’re not presently employed full-time. It will hopefully make scheduling you for a gig alot less messy than it might otherwise have been. Would you require a driver to transport you from Ottumwa to Iowa City and back again or will reimbursing you for gas/mileage suffice?

Man, business seems to be booming according to the Ottumwa website:

“Ottumwa is growing. A number of sizable developments have spurred a great deal of additional commercial interest in Ottumwa. Locally owned businesses, as well as national corporations continue investing in our community through expansion and/or opening new facilities in Ottumwa. From 1998 through January 2003, our citizens have invested approximately $61,150,000 in commercial, retail, and industrial development.

The City Council’s commitment to the construction of an events center has drawn support from the state, county, private organizations and support pledges of $4 million from individual citizens. There has been a renewed interest in Ottumwa’s downtown, with several new private businesses constructed in the area.

The expanding commercial districts and industrial base make Ottumwa a strong, viable and expanding community. Through progressive partnerships between City government and private business and industry, we are looking forward to an era of growth.”

Rock over Ottumwa!

Are you sure it’s not Bill Clinton’s fault, Brian?

Now if you don’t mind, let’s talk numbers, sir. What will it take to book your act and get this entertainment wagon a rollin’?. Think about it. You can travel to the dark heart of liberalism in Iowa – Iowa City – and represent what is perhaps one of one of the greatest singers in the history of world culture! I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that Sinatra was a big fan of Ronald Reagan. BIG fan. As I’m sure you also know, Ronald Reagan began his career in the state of Iowa at WHO radio.

This brings us to you. You’re the missing link. You represent the continuation of a proud, conservative tradition in the state of Iowa – one that has heretofore been painfully underrepresented from a crooner’s point of view. Throw us some numbers. Let’s make this happen.

He’s correct. I remember the gilded streets of Ottumwa of long ago. Sadly, the Libruls came to town and gave all of our money to the darkies who promptly squandered it on lottery tickets and illigitimate meth babies. If somebody would have just done something about those welfare queens driving Cadillacs Ottumwa would still be that shining city on a hill that we all fondly remember.

It’s the city of bridges, ya know!

For your information (not that I care) I’m technically employed, but the position isn’t ready yet. My situation has nothing to with the economy…other than the fact that the Democrats have ran the city of Ottumwa into the ground in the last twenty years.

You’ve stumbled upon the beauty that is the Iowa Voice, pstans. His life is an open book and we’re the all the richer for it. For you see he’s brought us all the gift of laughter, albeit unwittingly – and that’s a precious thing. That he also lacks the ability to connect the dots between his present unemployed status and Bush economic policy is just the cherry on top.

You don’t have to keep that you are unemployed in a shitty economy a secret. People won’t blame you, they’ll blame the idiots in the White House who send all the jobs overseas. Don’t worry, help is coming along in 2008.

Big deal. It was never a secret in the first place.

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This is truly the funniest thing I’ve read in a very very long time.